How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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