just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
