Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
