Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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