went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
