this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
