Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
