i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
