i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
