Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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