woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
