He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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