You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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