the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
