# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
