So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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