Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
