So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
A+ Viking dick
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
