you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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