Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize