Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
