in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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