whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
