This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
