The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
