all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
