I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
