i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
