I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
