Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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