i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
