And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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