Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
