Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
