you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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