shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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