that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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