Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
