love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
