hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
