at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
