I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
