and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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