I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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