Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
