My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize