she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
