I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
