we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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