Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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