I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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