omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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