I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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