You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
