i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
