did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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