Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What a dumb baby whore.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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