it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
