The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
