The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I need to calm my uterus...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize