What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Vodka?
Forever.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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