TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
