Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
