Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
