My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
