I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
