she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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